It’s a movie about two dysfunctional lovers, Joel (played by Jim Carrey) and Clementine (played by Kate Winslet) that meet each other on a train in Montauk. Hmm, I always thought that was a funny name. Montauk. But anyways, the movie starts out like any other cinematic romance: though they’re totally different, they’re absolutely in love with one another! But as time progresses, their relationship suffers from lack of excitement and various arguments, which eventually turn into bitter hatred towards one another. The pain from their once perfect relationship eventually becomes so severe, that they resort to having their memories of each other permanently erased from their minds–literally.

Thus, the bulk of the movie actually takes place in Joel’s mind while he’s lying in bed hooked up to some crude mind-erasing device. In Joel’s subconsciousness, he and Clementine run from memory to memory: some depicting times of joy and others, times of hardship. With every passing memory, the machine goes delete, delete, delete. Entire memories suddenly forever forgotten.

Finally, Joel and Clementine have run out of memories save one: the place where they first met and fell in love. By this point, Joel and Clementine have realized that this mind-erasing thing was a huge mistake. But what can they do? The machine is about to delete this last memory and while trapped inside Joel’s mind, they’re powerless to stop it. The soon to be forever ex-couple say,

Joel: It would be different if we could just give it another go-around.

Clementine: Remember me. Try your best. Maybe we can.

(with the last memory almost completely deleted, Clementine has time for one last sentence)

Clementine: Meet me in Montauk…

After that, Joel wakes up from the mind-erasing process, totally unaware of what had just transpired, having no idea of who or even what a Clementine is. But for some reason, the next morning, he has a sudden urge to go on a train to Montauk. Sure enough, Clementine’s on that train too. She too, has no idea who Joel is or why she’s even there. Hey wait a second, isn’t this exactly what happened in the start of the movie? Why, yes, it is! Joel and Clementine are meeting again for what they believe is their first time, where they first met, totally unaware of their broken past. And guess what? They fall right back in love with each other again.

This has been one of my favorite movies of all time for a couple years, but only now do I realize why. Inherently, in the core of my God-created-heart, it resonates with the love of Jesus Christ. Like anything that’s truly good in this world, this movie reflects just another aspect of his perfect redeeming love. And like anything in this world, it still falls so short of the glory of God.

Here’s why. At the end of the movie, Joel and Clementine come to the conclusion in Joel’s apartment hallway that the past is the past–they’re ready to start over. Then, all of a sudden, a new scene appears and Joel and Clementine are playing in the snow with each other (then the movie fades to white and credits roll). This last scene of Joel and Clementine is seemingly out of place. An interview with the movie’s writer reveals that the reason for the odd ending is that,

“This desire apparently sprang from the initial intent (expressed in an early script) that Joel and Clementine spent the rest of their lives meeting, falling in and out of love, getting their memories erased, and then repeating the cycle.”

Apparently, Joel and Clementine go the rest of their lives through repeated processes of falling in love, breaking up, and then getting their minds erased of each other. Even after being gloriously reunited at the end of the movie, they eventually fall again and again and again. How terrible! In almost any context, this would be such an ugly picture of love. But God makes the ugly, beautiful. What an awesome picture of God’s redemption story: people of grace constantly forgetting His ridiculous love, and an amazing God compelled by love, constantly forgetting all their sins. And not only are they forgotten, they’re forgiven. Now, that’s the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Now go and tell his disciples, including Peter, that Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as he told you before he died. (Mark 16:7)

First off, sorry for posting two month old news, just goes to show how ‘in the know’ I am about the world. Thankfully, my friend AK Kim showed me this video, which was such a testimony to God’s powerful work in the present day.

Wow, what a radical response the Haitian people had. They were humble enough not to point the blame at God but at themselves and ask for forgiveness. Though the world may look at something like this with disgust, believing that the Haiti earthquake in fact disproved the existence of God, this video proves otherwise. Thank you Haiti for embracing the opportunity God gave you to display His glory. It would’ve been undoubtedly easy, heck, human nature even, to let the worst come out in your time of deepest despair. Instead, 1,000,000+ strong fasting for 3 days, standing and dancing from sunrise to sunset all in the name of praising God’s name. And He was pleased to bring healing to the nation:

Heaven opened over Haiti on February 12th, 2010 and the Holy Spirit began to rain down…and I can tell you this, it is still raining.

God, when I am tempted to be filled with bitterness because of some tragedy or even…I’m ashamed to say it, minor inconvenience in my life, may this be my response. You’re never the problem, but always the solution.

It transcends past, present, and future.
Foretold from the very beginning, the literal midpoint of history, the guarantee of a hopeful future.

We’re meeting at the center.
Hi Abraham, once called Abram.
Hi Israel, once called Jacob.
Hi Paul, once called Saul.
How are you doing, all you now called ’sons and daughters of God,’ once doomed as sinners?

All of Heaven and Hell are concerned with its implications.
But what about me? Can the veil be torn from my face? Am I ready?
Break down the walls I place around my heart and melt the bitter core inside it!

[in comes grace]

Hi Jesus…

The biggest change is that the theme is flat out different

Changed the font, increased font size, and spacing between each line

Added the ability to ‘like’ a blog post

Random texts will turn red when you hover over them

Added recent comments and recent posts to the sidebar on the right

Removed and added some sites for ’suggested clicking’

There’s a picture of me in the ‘about’ section

Knowing my obsessiveness, the site will likely undergo many more subtle changes in the next couple of days–maybe even the next couple hours. I hope not though, I need to get some sleep. I think this new layout speaks to my changing philosophy about web design. As much as it hurts to admit, the web is all about content and interaction these days. As a graphic designer, I need to realize that. Remove the busy background, tiny text, confusing rollovers and let the content speak for itself. Now, that doesn’t mean we’re totally out of jobs. I’m studying to be an electrical engineer, what’re you talking about?

Just kidding. It just means our approach to web design has to be different. This is old news but even more applicable nowadays: don’t treat a website like a regular piece of artwork. A painting–digital or traditional–is just there: it isn’t jabbed at with an arrow, highlighted, copied and pasted, or read line by line. Basically, it doesn’t change. A website can still be a work of art, but only when content, interface, and form-factor masterfully all come together. Ahhh, now that’s some Leonardo da Vinci-type stuff.

Feel free to still call it Wugru, though.

So, if you could sit back, relax, and take two minutes of your time to convince yourself of this fact, I think both of us will benefit greatly.

Actually, more than anything, I just wanted to check out the quality of the Canon Vixia HG20 my dad shot with. No hard feelings to all the doubters. The cool thing is that this isn’t even the best this camera can do; this video was only shot on its 2nd lowest video quality setting (out of 5). It makes me excited for my next video project, which will probably be a little more God-honoring

I am Taiwanese, though.

First off, special thanks to:

• Henry Wu for shooting the practice footage

• Sean Lee for being interviewed

• Mustard Seeds for being awesome

I recently got the opportunity to make a short video about CFC’s dance ministry team: Mustard Seeds. This project was actually for my Writing with Video class, a nice change of pace from all the electrical engineering class under my belt this semester.

Although, I have to admit, I didn’t take this class all that seriously in the beginning of the year. Seeing some of the video projects from previous classes that the teacher chose as ‘examples’ had already led me to write this class off as a joke. “Is this really an art class?” I thought to myself. It was listed in the art department, yes. But the videos that were shown…just plain bad–poor video quality, awkward camera angles, and content that made no sense.

That’s why I laughed when I learned that the next project we’d be doing was called, “Art of the Real: a 3-5 minute piece on someone, someplace, and/or something that you know very little about.” Art of the real, what does that even mean? Art of the Real? HA! Not in this class.

Furthermore, earlier in the year, we checked out some of the pieces in the Krannert Art Museum on campus. There was a substantial section of the museum devoted to this one artist’s work, which was all about Christianity: Jesus on the Cross, Angels in Heaven, the Devil causing people’s downfall, and Bible verses strewn all about. When it came time to talk about pieces we liked and didn’t like, the overwhelming majority of the class totally hated on the Christian art. ‘Too judgmental’ and ‘too religious’ were the main critiques. I could understand judgmental as being a legitimate complaint, but too religious? C’mon man, religion isn’t just something you do on Sundays, it’s at the heartbeat of everything you do or think.

So, I think I had a mild case of the Jonah’s (the dude in the Bible, not the Disney sensation) when it came time to create a video for the project. I knew from the start that I wanted to share Christ with the class and it’s not like I hated or even disliked the people in it. But had I already written them off as unreachable? To a certain extent, yes. I thought, ‘God, they’ll bash on you and totally ignore your beauty. I want to be a good witness, but is this even the setting to do it?’

After showing the video in class on Monday, the feedback was great. They really loved it. Although the comments weren’t so much centered around the message of the video, one girl did say she got goosebumps. Was that the Holy Spirit working? Probably not, but as a result, I think the class at least became a little more open to Christianity. Even if nothing happened, that’s fine as well. My job is to merely present the Gospel somehow, and God will take care of the rest. Thanks for using yet another experience to help my stubborn heart grow, Lord

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.

Since, I haven’t posted in a while, I’ll just share about how I’m doing spiritually. Recently, I’ve just been so frustrated with the inconsistency of my heart. It’s like two seconds after every God-glorifying thought I have, I turn to self-praise or have some terrible thought about my brother, sister, or even a stranger on a bus. Then, in response, I’ll become frustrated and question my goodness and deservedness of God’s love. I mean, there’s no question honestly. I’m no good, but because He is, I’m wholly and absolutely saved by Christ’s redeeming love. But my heart never really reaches that point and sees that amazing fact. Whether in selfishness or selfish frustration, I’m still consumed by myself.

So, while shaking my head, I’ve prayed that God would change my heart so that I would turn from myself and look at how my selfishness glorifies Him that much more. While I’m still so sinful, He can declare an even more glorious victory through this wretched heart. I think this song is part of God’s answer…and He’s telling me how much He loves me! I’m like this little tree made of thorns, with weak roots that rarely bears any fruit; yet, oh, how he loves me so! No matter me, I’m bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

Heavenly Father, that is such good news. Help me get over myself, for once! Tear down the walls that I put between us and let me just drown in the ocean of your grace, mercy, and love. I know you’re answering my prayers as we speak–you’re so quick to restore me. Make my heart and spirit be willing to see my prayer be answered all around me as you unfold my redemption story to me. I love you God, but wow, it’s nothing compared to your love!

Listen to the full song here

The song starts out, “So here I am, one more day of not loving Him the way He asks.” The song starts out so negatively yet so casually, which is quite rare for a worship song. But that tone of voice more practically describes the heart of a struggling lover better than one of extreme agony and fear. It’s sad but true. As another day passes and my heart fails, “I’m sinking fast like a stone heart should,” and it feels like there’s nothing I can do. Even in prayer time, “I’m haunted by my God who has the right to ask me what by the nature of my rebellion I cannot give.” As I pray to God, the one I should be cherishing the most, I find that I’m reduced to a mix of silence and jumbled words.

He still reveals Himself to me daily, and for that I’m thankful. But at the end of the day, along with my “cute little words about how am I saved,” they too get “burned as wood.” In other words, those blessings don’t last and my heart again feels empty. No matter “my deeds for the day,” “I’m haunted by my God who has the right to ask me what by the nature of my rebellion I cannot give.” In the midst of my silence and the noise that spews out of my mouth, I question, “Am I saved?”

Tonight, God gracefully blessed with something my friend, Jeffrey Nian, shared with me about how Jaeson Ma, the world’s most prominent Asian hip-hop pastor, turned from a life of complete sin to one completely devoted to God. At 18, along with hanging out with various Vietnamese gangs, he was dealing drugs and designer suits. The latter of which he stole from the high-end clothing store he worked at. One day, he was busted and the police had a warrant for his arrest. While confessing to his Christian mother his sin, God hit him with what he described as a “two-ton brick” (conviction). Even if he went to jail (by God’s grace, he didn’t), he decided to turn his life back to God right then and there. He was determined to seek and seek God with all of his heart until he found God and captured Him there. Jaeson would frequently lock himself in his room and ask God to fill him up with the holy spirit, and he asked that over and over and over. HE BEGGED. By begging, God transformed his heart so much that He was able to use Jaeson to lead revivals all around college campuses and even lead Jin the rapper to Christ, among countless others.

So now, when I think about it, it’s so ironic that CFC’s lock-in is tomorrow. All night, 7 pm to 8 am, spent crying out to God, just like Jaeson Ma. In fact, I know it’s more than just an irony or intersting coincidence, it’s all part of God’s beautiful plan to lead me to Him. God, I recognize that I’m powerless to move myself; so, like the poorest man on Earth, I want to beg for You to come. You, God, are the only one strongest enough to lift this stone heart from the brink of hopelessness. So, may these words be like a huge cardboard sign hung around my heart: “I beg for you to move, I beg for you to move, I beg for you to break through!”

In case the site isn’t impressive enough or you just want more hype for OIL, watch this promo for the conference:

In the immortal words of the guy from Love Actually,

But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it’s Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this.

This past weekend, I got a chance to see everyone’s favorite British romantic comedy, Love Actually, again. I actually started watching the movie when all the individual stories started climaxing–basically, all the moments that make you wish your life was a British, romantic comedy: the little drummer boy’s mad dash through the airport, the Portuguese proposal, the Presidential kiss, etc.–all in about 30 minutes.

One climax, the ’signs’ scene, stuck out in particular. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, Mark (the guy in the picture), realizes that he is in love with his best friend’s newly-wed wife, Keira Knightley (who wouldn’t be?). When she finds out, he has no choice but to reconcile the matter in the best way possible: with posterboards, a sharpie, and a knock on the door. While the situation Mark’s in isn’t at all the picture of our relationship with God, I still love his attitude here. The only thing he can do is accept his love for her and do so “without hope or agenda.” When he finishes his poster slideshow, Mark doesn’t expect anything in return. I mean, he did get a kiss, but it would have been totally fine with him if he continued walking down the road alone without anyone running after him. What could he do but confess his love?  He embraced the mindset of loving without expecting or even hoping for anything in return.

Leave it to a movie that features a porn star couple (well, they’re just stand-ins for sex scenes) to teach me a little something about love. Actually, I think seeing Love Actually was all part of God’s mission this past week to teach me about being a servant. This year, God’s been opening doors for me to serve, but I didn’t truly understand how to be a servant. The former is just the action, the latter is the motive. This past Sunday, one of the sermon’s bullet points was, “Watch out: you must remember that you are a servant.” In my notes, I have written down for that section: “We do not deserve anything. Why do you serve and get bitter? You ultimately want to get served yourself. The older son, the pharisee was like this, but the younger son realized that even being a servant is a privilege (The Prodigal Father, Luke 15 11:32).” After that sermon, I thought to myself, “Dang, I just got served! Sucker.” (HA)

One example that comes to mind that illustrates this point is my work on the flyer for Revival. As I said in the previous post, the first flyer I made wasn’t accepted. If I wasn’t so stubborn and decided to work on another flyer, none of my designs would have been used–someone else would have done it. I admit, I was a little bitter that my first try that I worked pretty hard on wasn’t accepted, and I probably still would be if the second one wasn’t made. But I have to ask myself: why do I serve and get bitter? Isn’t it enough to just serve? I don’t even deserve this opportunity to begin with; so, even if my servanthood doesn’t impact the world, who cares? I’m serving God–that should be where my joy comes from.

So, this is my prayer: Lord, help me be like Mark. Scratch that. Help me be more like Christ. When He sacrificed His life for me, the flesh torn from his back was nothing compared to the emotional torture he experienced. The entire world was against Him; yet, He still willingly suffered so greatly for us. While we were still sinners, while his closest friends on Earth turned their backs and said they never knew Him, Christ did what He did. His sacrifice boils down to this: without hope or agenda, except to serve God the Father, Christ served. You know what? The Gospel is love, actually.