On Friday, a group of brothers and sisters sang an awesome song before our church. After rediscovering it today, I know God’s speaking to me as I replay it through time after time:
Since, I haven’t posted in a while, I’ll just share about how I’m doing spiritually. Recently, I’ve just been so frustrated with the inconsistency of my heart. It’s like two seconds after every God-glorifying thought I have, I turn to self-praise or have some terrible thought about my brother, sister, or even a stranger on a bus. Then, in response, I’ll become frustrated and question my goodness and deservedness of God’s love. I mean, there’s no question honestly. I’m no good, but because He is, I’m wholly and absolutely saved by Christ’s redeeming love. But my heart never really reaches that point and sees that amazing fact. Whether in selfishness or selfish frustration, I’m still consumed by myself.
So, while shaking my head, I’ve prayed that God would change my heart so that I would turn from myself and look at how my selfishness glorifies Him that much more. While I’m still so sinful, He can declare an even more glorious victory through this wretched heart. I think this song is part of God’s answer…and He’s telling me how much He loves me! I’m like this little tree made of thorns, with weak roots that rarely bears any fruit; yet, oh, how he loves me so! No matter me, I’m bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
Heavenly Father, that is such good news. Help me get over myself, for once! Tear down the walls that I put between us and let me just drown in the ocean of your grace, mercy, and love. I know you’re answering my prayers as we speak–you’re so quick to restore me. Make my heart and spirit be willing to see my prayer be answered all around me as you unfold my redemption story to me. I love you God, but wow, it’s nothing compared to your love!
